Am I Helpful

Schein defines help as "doing something with and for clients that they can not do themselves (Schein, 2016)". I also tend to agree with Schein that help is a two way street. You can not help people that do not want to be helped. But even more than that, if the person you are helping does not feel helped - then you did not help - no matter what you think. (Schein, 2016)

Helping is something that I feel (in general) that I am pretty good at. I love helping and I have gotten to the point in life where I have so experience under my belt, so people will actually ask me for help.

I am getting better at weeding out the true help from the false help. For example, if my daughter asks for my help making her bed, I will usually say no. This is an activity she is more than capable of doing. Asking for my help with homework though, is something that I will take the time to lend a hand.

I am also getting better at asking if I was helpful. I don't want people coming to me for help and not getting the help that they need. Often times I will just outright ask if I helped them or if they got the information that they needed. Nine times out of ten I find that I provided the right help, but it is those few times when they look at you funny or tell you that they were thinking of something completely different that make all the difference. Then we can regroup and I can offer poignant help. It is in those times that you feel great about being able to help.

I do still need to work on the opposite of those ideals. When I am the one asking for help, I tend not to stay or rephrase my question if I am not getting the help that I need. I guess it is hard to do that and not feel like you will be looked at as unintelligent.

It is also difficult to ask for help. While I am getting better at this in my career, I need to work on this at home. Realizing that I can't be everywhere at once or do every activity, fundraiser, and meeting is a hard lesson to take. Hopefully this will get better with time and I will learn to be kind to myself and not try to be everything to everyone.

All in all I would say that I am helpful.

Schein, E. H. (2016). Humble consulting: How to provide real help faster. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

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